Naomi's New Binoculars or How to Make a Teenage Girl Squirm, A Short Play

Originally published May 26 2009
Scene 1
Naomi and daddy board a bus and find our seats, daddy carries a newspaper, Naomi carries her brand new set of binoculars that she got for her birthday, grins from ear to ear. (Her default expression.)
Teenage girl, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with anyone boards bus and sits across from us, Ipod plugged in to head, shoulders slumped forward, far too much makeup and not enough shirt, looking forlorn. (Her default expression)
Scene 2
Daddy, reading paper, chances to look over at the teenage girl across the aisle who is looking increasingly uncomfortable. Knowing how insecure a teenage girl can be Daddy goes back to his paper and makes a point of not looking at her.Out of the corner of his eye, sees the cause of her consternation: Naomi, smiling her biggest smile, is carefully studying every pore in the face of the teenage girl with her binoculars and quietly giggling.
Teenage girl, trying against all odds and laws of physics to crawl into the seat is horrified that her complexion is undergoing such a thorough examination by a complete stranger. Turns up Ipod to brain melting volume and wraps hoody tightly around self.
Scene 3
Sitting on the giant leather couch at Starbucks, Daddy explains to Naomi that it isn’t polite to look at people through binoculars. Long discussion and string of “Why” questions end with Daddy resorting to fall back position “sometimes mommy and daddy tell you to do something because mommy and daddy know what's best, okay?"